I am getting married in a few months time however, a couple of my guests are Jehovah witness's and although they're not attending the ceremony (which is Cof E) they will be joining the wedding breakfast. They have recently told me that they are not allowed to sit through the speeches, is this correct and if so, why not? I understand their reason for not attending the ceremony but am a little confused about why they say they cant sit through the speeches.
I appreciate any answers here.
The Jehovah Witness's are immediate family of the groom!!
Not allowed to sit through the speeches???
I am a Jehovah Witness…and there is nothing wrong with speeches. Some of us choose to have speeches at our weddings, and I am going to have a few by select ones at my May wedding.
Someone who is a JW may choose not to sit through speeches if they feel like they are going to be offended by them. I can't personally say what would offend them.
I have been to non-JW weddings and the speeches are ok, I have never encountered anything objectionable.
BUT…I would probably choose not to sit through the speeches if I felt they were going to be
1) VERY obscene (a lot of cursing, a lot of dirty sexual innuendos)
2) mainly religious propaganda, as opposed to well wishes to the bride and groom.
In fact, it's not that they are BANNED from sitting through speeches…or even attending the ceremony. It's really a personal matter.
I personally wont go to one held in a church, but I would go to one held elsewhere if the person is not a witness…
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March 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 am
I think your friends are trying to get out of the boring part of the reception. yes weddings are fun but also sometimes tedious because everyone always does the same thing, cake, flowers, toasts, crappy DJ, mediocre food etc. but you go and celebrate anyway because you want your friends to be happy. it doesn't sound like there's anything religious about your wedding breakfast, actually that's a pretty rare event that I can say I've never been invited to (I bet it's yummy). explain to your JW friends that people will be making funny and touching toasts briefly before breakfast as a tribute to the bride and groom. if someone is going to say grace, they don't have to bow their heads in observance but the least they can do is sit in respect of what everyone else is doing because everyone else would probably show the JW's the same respect at their wedding someday.
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March 23rd, 2009 at 11:38 am
I'm not even a Christian, but might consider converting the Jehovah Witness faith if it means I don't have to listen to any more wedding speeches. Don't get me wrong — I'm not a sourpuss and I love weddings and receptions. But when TOAST goes on so long that it becomes a SPEECH, I stop paying attention and sit there with a pleasant expression on my face an thoughts that are far far away. So do most of the other listeners.
Sorry this isn't an answer to your question, but I had to put in a "good word" for the idea:
If you don't strike oil in 90 seconds, then stop boring.
Congrats and best wishes.
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March 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
why dont you ask them whey they cant sit and listen to a speech? or talk to your fiance about it since it is his family. if there is a religious reason why they cant then they can leave the room during the speeches. i dont see any reason why they couldnt still attend the breakfast
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March 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
first things first
congratulations
now. a JW can attend a wedding if they want. this is really a 'conscience matter'
my whole family (and myself) are JW's, and my sister has been to 2…i think
but yeah, its up to them and whether they are comfortable with doing it or not
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March 23rd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
For me personally when my non-witness sister got married, at the reception, it was very awkward for me, my wife and 2 children having the groom's family going through every table toasting (calling upon their gods and ancestors for blessing) and people were tapping on their plates as someone gave a good speech. The four of us have to excuse ourselves before they got to our table. I personally wanted to be there to support my sister but not to support their gods and ancestors. Eccl 9:5, 6 let's me know all dead ancestors are unconscious of nothing anymore at death therefore the ancestors that my in-law were chanting to they were actually chanting to the air or demons. I can't common on yours or what things will take place at your wedding breakfast.
Is it proper for Christians to “drink a toast” when they get together?—M. D., U.S.A.
In some lands, when acquaintances are about to part, they have a parting drink of some alcoholic beverage, with glasses raised and touched together and accompanied with an expression of ‘to your health’ or something similar. At wedding receptions frequently a toast is similarly offered to the health and happiness of the newlyweds. Understandably, some have questioned whether it would be Scripturally proper for Christians to share in such toasts.
Certainly there is nothing wrong with a Christian’s wishing a friend happiness and good health. Nor would it be improper to do so as a group. The spiritually older men in the first century concluded a letter to the Christian congregations with an expression meaning, essentially, “Good health to you!”—Acts 15:29.
But is that all there is to “toasting”? Why do the toasters raise their glasses, or lift their mugs and clink them together? Is it in imitation of some custom? Note what The Encyclopædia Britannica, 11th Ed., Volume 13, page 121, says:
“The custom of drinking ‘health’ to the living is most probably derived from the ancient religious rite of drinking to the gods and the dead. The Greeks and Romans at meals poured out libations to their gods, and at ceremonial banquets drank to them and to the dead.” Then, after showing how such pagan customs survived among Scandinavian and Teutonic peoples, this reference work adds: “Intimately associated with these quasi-sacrificial drinking customs must have been the drinking to the health of living men.”
When most people join in a “toast” they probably do not imagine that they might be copying the custom of lifting up a libation or liquid sacrifice to pagan gods, yet that could be so. Without question, a faithful Christian would not share in an actual pagan sacrifice, realizing that “you cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons.” (1 Cor. 10:21) A mature Christian would also avoid even imitating false religious rituals. This spiritually mature course would please Jehovah. Remember, God specifically warned the Israelites against copying religious practices of the pagan nations round about them.—Lev. 19:27; 21:5.
If a Christian is going to make a request for divine blessing on another, then an appropriate way to do that is through heartfelt prayer to God, not by following traditions based on pagan worship that Jehovah abhors.—Phil. 1:9; 2 Cor. 1:11.
Customs and traditions abound all over the earth. If a mature Christian knew that a particular one was directly based on false religion, obviously he would avoid it. But not all customs are objectionable. Some may simply be local practices or etiquette without a false religious origin, such as greeting by shaking hands or bowing. (Gen. 23:7) Each individual can consider what he knows about a particular custom and his own motive with regard to it. Just why is he doing it? He might also ask himself, ‘Will doing this stumble others, or will people in the community link my actions with false religion?’ (1 Cor. 10:32, 33) No one else can serve as the conscience for a particular Christian; hence each one can think the matter over and make a decision so as to have a clear conscience.—Acts 23:1; 2 Cor. 1:12.
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March 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Its not that they are not allowed but that they would just rather not. Personally I don{t even like going to wedding at all unless its a very close friend. listen to 2cents he knows what he is talking about.
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me
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Putting others (other than God) on a pedestal is not acceptable in the faith. Listening to others praise their God is uncomfortable for a JW because they feel so strongly that everyone else has it wrong when it comes to religion. A JW can't listen to someone else talk about their faith without shaking their head and thinking "they just don't know the Truth". Public displays of affection (I'm certain almost any sort of affection) is a sin. Also, if you mention "fate" being the reason you are together…then the Devil is speaking through you.
It's really up to that person, but I've never known an open minded JW. Just do your duty to invite them and if they can't put difference aside and have confidence that they are strong in their beliefs than that's their decision.
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18 years to learn there are other ways to live your life and still be a good person.
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Not allowed to sit through the speeches???
I am a Jehovah Witness…and there is nothing wrong with speeches. Some of us choose to have speeches at our weddings, and I am going to have a few by select ones at my May wedding.
Someone who is a JW may choose not to sit through speeches if they feel like they are going to be offended by them. I can't personally say what would offend them.
I have been to non-JW weddings and the speeches are ok, I have never encountered anything objectionable.
BUT…I would probably choose not to sit through the speeches if I felt they were going to be
1) VERY obscene (a lot of cursing, a lot of dirty sexual innuendos)
2) mainly religious propaganda, as opposed to well wishes to the bride and groom.
In fact, it's not that they are BANNED from sitting through speeches…or even attending the ceremony. It's really a personal matter.
I personally wont go to one held in a church, but I would go to one held elsewhere if the person is not a witness…
References :
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I believe that the issue here is not that it is a speech, but that it is in a church, or given by some clergy of another religion.
JWs have been know for many decades as not allowed to attend any church service other than their own.
I see many people on this site who claim fo be JWs give very inaccurate information, a lot of playing dumb and acting like they don't understand the question or have never heard the question before.
JWs these days seem to be intent on showing their religion to be this free wheeling type of church where they can believe what they want and everything is a conscience matter.
Well, this may be true strictly speaking, but the JWs here know full well that they are DISCOURAGED (not disallowed) from going to church services not their own. This is very OLD NEWS. And for a Witness to not know about this reputation for not attending the wedding services of even close family members shows that they are either very young, ignorant or just plain lying.
They definitely cannot be IN a wedding where pagan or false religioous ceremony is to be participated in by the wedding party. One of my best friends in my life is a Witness and refused to attend the wedding or to be in my wedding as a member of the wedding party. Was he following direction from his church in this?
It looks like the JWs here want to make it seem like my friend was just an asshole and he could have gone if he wanted to. Sorry, I could tell that he was very conflicted about it. It was apparent to me that his church was very much against his attending and being part of my wedding. He still apologizes for it to this day, 20 years after the fact.
I think if he was allowed to go, he would have gone, simple as that.
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